Rebecca

Even though we may not continue to actively blog, we couldn't not include Rebecca. She is a gift that we did not expect to be blessed with, and we spend a lot of our time now staring at her and marveling at her every move. We love her so much already and sense a deep spiritual connection between her, Aaron and Alison.

Here are some pictures from her first 7 weeks, although we're dating this post on her birthday, February 25.

Thank you for all of your love and help getting us through these early weeks!

Aaron's Presents

Last summer, a few weeks after Aaron died, Dan and I had a conversation about whether we wanted to set up a scholarship fund in his name, raise money for another cause, or something else. A couple nights later, I had a brainstorm and thought, What if we had a pool of money and gave out mini-grants to young kids to do small positive projects—for other people, for their own personal development—and we ended up with a gallery these cool projects done by kids simply because of Aaron’s life?  That would be a pretty neat legacy and tangible reflection of Aaron’s spirit and energy.

We call it Aaron’s Presents, because we see not only the projects themselves, but also the kids who will hopefully be inspired and positively affected by participating as Aaron’s presents to the world.  We also believe that through this program, his “presence” will continue to be felt—inspiring us, inspiring kids, touching the lives of those for whom the projects are being done, and creating a continual “ripple effect” of small thoughtful acts.

This spring we will pilot the program with the 6th grade of a local school and an after-school program, and we hope to open it up more widely by the end of this summer.

 www.aaronspresents.org

Spring Grove

This is a photo from Aaron's gravesite at Spring Grove Cemetery on Abbot Street in Andover, MA.

The beautiful silk flower arrangement was created and placed there by Sheila Corbitt, and is visible from the road right across from Pomps Pond.

Aaron's Memorial

This is a video of the service and dove release from Sunday, August 18, 2013 at the Phillips Academy Log Cabin.  We gathered with a group of loving friends, as well as other friends and family members who were fully there in spirit, to acknowledge, remember and celebrate Aaron's life.

The first group of 3 doves flew away and waiting in a tree for the 4th dove.  The 4th dove flew off and then came back and did a second complete circle around our gathering, and then flew to join the other three.  They all were safely home in Wilmington, MA by the time the owner returned a half hour later.

It was a beautiful day in every way, and we are so grateful that we listened to the advice of several people who counseled us to have such a gathering.  We had no idea what to expect, but woke up the next day feeling as though some of the weight had been lifted off of our shoulders and that the dark clouds surrounding us were beginning to lift.

Thank you to everyone who came, helped out, cooked and baked, entertained the kids, kept us sane and smiling, and also to everyone who sent comfort and love our way that day!

password: aaron

Aaron's memorial celebration--details

We have settled on a few details for Aaron's memorial celebration:

Sunday, August 18, 2013

3pm

Log Cabin at Phillips Academy

All are welcome, including children.

This will be a very casual, low-key gathering to celebrate and remember Aaron and just enjoy being together. Refreshments will be served.

We'll send out an Evite in the near future for RSVP's so we can have a rough headcount.
For now, this is just to let you know so you can save the date if it works for you.

Please do not feel any obligation to come to this event.
Many of you live outside of Boston, some are in the process of moving, and others have summer travel plans, etc.  There will be many opportunities and many ways to remember Aaron's short but special life, and we know and are so grateful that you have been and will be thinking of him and us for a long time to come.

In addition, we are considering setting up a fund in Aaron's name that will benefit others in some way.  We will post details in the coming weeks for any who are interested in being a part of that.


Lastly, our good friend, Paul Hurteau, recently wrote this poem that captures Aaron's life and spirit so well:

~~~ripples~~~

little brother kangaroo
Aaron Makaio
                came quick
                left quick
                couldn’t give us all we wanted with him
                                like hops around the pond to see the goslings
                fulfilling, beautiful, full
                as it might have been

but what he did give us
                (through us)
                                in his sheer arrival and presence
                                his tiny angel breaths
                                his nine days
                                his 900,000 heartbeats
                                his pluck and grace under intense surveillance
were ripples

moving
growing
spreading
circles
of pure
                love

reminders
(his enduring gift to us, maybe)
                gently harmonizing with
                                big sister kangaroo
                                Alison Keanna’s on-hopping song
that
                even in our anxiety
                our pain
                our exhaustion and distraction
we still can love
                                so deeply

his little exhortations (maybe)
                for us
                                without him
                                                despite impermanence
                to tap
                                our
                                                compassion

Laid to rest

We buried Aaron's body today at Spring Grove Cemetery in Andover.  He has been laid to rest right next to the infant daughter of our good friends; she passed away at 11 days old in 2007.  Thinking of their two precious lives at the same time is very comforting.

Since the gathering was very small this morning, we thought we would share the words that were spoken.  We felt the presence of all of you who have been supporting and loving us every minute of every day for the past two weeks (it has been almost exactly 2 weeks since we drove to the hospital with a little bleeding and cramping).

Our beloved

Aaron Makaio Schneider

When I checked the weather last night, it said showers all morning, but this morning it said partly cloudy until noon.  That also reflected how I woke up feeling this morning—slightly more rested, alive and energetic.  I’ve realized this week that I have absolutely no control over how I feel or how much I can handle or do from day to day, so I trusted that God would provide what we all needed in order to get through this day.  So far He has come through for me, and I hope, for all of us here.

Clarity of any kind is still difficult to come by.  So last night Dan and I tried to make a list of anything that did seem even the least bit clear about this moment.  I will probably take little crying breaks, but I have found—much to my relief—that when I let it out, each cry doesn’t last that long and then I can go on again.

1)      We are here to remember Aaron, and to lay his physical body to rest.  However, his body is not him, and he is not going into the ground.  This is merely his shell, which housed his soul for 8 ½ days, and fought so hard to keep it here with us for longer than that.  We were blessed to have been holding his peaceful body as his soul left it.

2)      We believe that his soul is still fully alive and now in the presence of God, the angels and a host of loved ones.  He is ok.  He is just fine.  In fact, he is experiencing a much fuller joy, peace and love that we can only strive to catch a glimpse of here.  But that doesn’t stop us from missing him, or from wishing that he could have put all of that off for 100 years.  We will be ok too, but it will just take us a lot longer.

3)      Despite the pain and sorrow we feel because he is no longer with us, we are so grateful that he came, that he wanted to meet us, that he didn’t choose to leave back in March when he first ran into some challenges.  His life was such a gift to our family, and he will forever be our son.  We wouldn’t trade any of the minutes we were able to spend touching, holding, and watching him.

4)      Aaron’s life was completely selfless—he came to give us the precious gift of his life and the chance to meet him.  He apparently did not have much to learn himself—hence his short stay—but he needed to teach us something about love, friendship and family, and humanity.  We will spend the rest of our lives trying to honor his life by taking in these lessons and will never be the same because of him.  Already we are now more fully human and more aware of what makes us human.

We would now like to spend a couple minutes in silent meditation, as silence and stillness are often the best paths we have toward peace and understanding.  Then Dan and I will try to read a poem that our friend Jocelyn wrote for Aaron.

 

A Tiny Miracle

Strong willed

You were on your own schedule,

From the start.

We waited,

And patience turned into joy.

Resolute

You wanted us to know you

Even from the womb,

Waving at the monitor,

Always keeping Mommy’s attention.

Precocious

You decided you wanted to see the world,

A heroic salutation

The strength of soldiers

In less than two pounds.

Unique

You flaunted your individuality while showing your roots.

Daddy’s wingspan, long fingers, and gentle heart,

Mommy’s dark hair, complexion, and determined soul.

Alison’s humor and sweet charm.

Valiant

You endured so much

Yet tried to comfort us,

With your fearless spirit

You held our fingers and squeezed tight.

Angelic

You taught us so much,

In your brief sojourn into our hearts.

You have spread your wings

To embrace us from above.

 

If we could, let us spend another minute in silence, and then we will end with a prayer.

Dear God,

We pray that you would embrace our dear Aaron and wrap him in your love and peace.  We pray that he would know how much he has been and will always be loved, by so many.

We ask that you would bring us comfort, that you would fill the hole in our hearts one day with joy, that you would heal this pain.

We have always trusted in your goodness and faithfulness.  We have always trusted in your ability to see the whole picture, the eternal timeline, and in the belief that you reveal to us what we need to know at the right times.  We ask that you would one day give us the ability to know and understand why Aaron’s visit was so short, but we pray for patience, and that all of this faith and trust built over our lifetimes would not waver but instead would be proven all the more worthy and true.

Lastly, we thank you, for the time we had with our son, for the community of people who have shown us the incredible human capacity for love and generosity, and for showing us that the most painful and sorrowful aspects of life can somehow coexist with the best and most beautiful. 

We leave ourselves completely to your care and ask that you give us wisdom, guidance, strength and courage for the coming days.  Amen.

Date change

Because some of you may have marked August 4 in your calendars as a tentative date for Aaron's memorial celebration, I wanted to let you know that it looks like we will need to find a later weekend day in August.  Dan's end-of-summer session dinner is that night, and he and a number of our friends and colleagues will be attending that.

We will be working on it and will let you know the details as soon as possible.